I am the way, the truth and the life, but DON’T follow me.
THAT’s what Jesus should have said.
It was a Sunday, in London. I was on a winter break from 10 months of solid hiking, but stir crazy cities were a major assault on my nature formed sensibilities. The noise, the insanity, the rush, the joy trap were all too much for me.
I thought a good dose of Christian worship, praise and sermon offered the perfect antidote for my city shock.
I liked the upbeat evangelical style and a congregation with a broader view of religion and acceptance of others. So the last minute before the bells rung, I discovered a viable church to cure my city blues.
I zipped into the London underground, connected with the tall red bus and took a short, chilly stroll to find myself at the Cinema where the church held their weekly gatherings.
On the way, I felt a peculiar uneasiness arise. It came from nowhere. I left the house in a good mood, travel was smooth, I encountered no mangy Saturday night left-overs behaviour to stir the pot, there was no apparent reason for this shadow. But it came on stronger and stronger the closer I got to the church premises. “How weird,” I thought.
I walked beyond the church to see if I could shift the feeling or at least figure out its cause. A fairly useless endeavour. I concluded, therefore, I ought to just go inside and let Jesus magic fix the problem.
It was a strange vibe as soon as I entered. Maybe because of the merging between the sensual and the spiritual or perhaps because I was new and I was anticipating a gushing welcome that never landed. In some old, sole-purpose churches you can often sense love in the air, but not in this place. I took a seat toward the back with few people around. But as the church filled so did the seats. Except for the ones directly next to me. A family had initially sat directly in front, but I must’ve still carried that stale hiking stink because they soon changed places.
The service was fairly bland, the singing average and the message of the day atrocious. It sounded like a sermon on the benefits of victimhood.
They did this audience interaction thing at the end. Loyal members of the congregation with specific roles headed to the front of the room and with full gusto one of them bellowed …
“I can feel there are people in this room today that need to do something, they know they have to act, there’s something on their heart that they need to do, so go ahead and do it”. “If you feel your heart racing, your palms sweating and you’re nervous but you can hear that voice encouraging you, then now is the time”. “Don’t wait until you go home, do it now, before you leave the church, don’t miss your opportunity, the Holy Spirit is calling you to act”.
Then came a short pause, seemingly to wait for someone to respond.
Oh my God, I thought, this guy was totally talking to me. I was worked up in all the ways he described. My heart was racing and pounding, my body was charged with electricity and on fire and I was totally shitting myself, but I truly felt that I had to speak. Do I or don’t I? The mental conflict tormented me, but something inside urged me forward. Only by the time I got the courage to stand up and say something, the Minister also started speaking. It was too late though for me to stop, a wind passed right through me and I burst out with…
“Noone here is a victim, you all have choices. You are at the cause of your life, you are responsible. If you want something different then make different choices”.
When I finished, all I saw were the faces of the entire congregation staring at me like I just committed the deadliest carnal sin. No slaps of bravo or approving cheer. Nor even a recognition that I stated the obvious and empowering. Only a tall suited man and a stern woman Matrix Agent style came over and flanked me either side, to prevent me from speaking again until the end of the service.
At which time they proceeded to tell me scornfully that I was out of line and rude. That what I did was wrong and unwelcome and that I was never to do it again. The woman was convinced I was the devil. The Minister also soon charged at me, foaming at the mouth whilst he blasted me like a rabid dog for interrupting him and his service telling me to never do it again.
I wished I had face wipes to clear away the spit he sprayed me with.
It was clear they wanted to lay down their rules and that I needed to comply and conform or not come back. Nor should I attempt such a disgraceful thing in any other church.
OK, so my timing wasn’t great, but they completely failed to recognise the invitation they had previously given.
I was quite astonished by the whole experience, but afterwards, it was obvious why I was so troubled going there in the first place. My inner self was giving me the heads up. It hollered at me even and I still failed to take it to heart. Instead, I barrelled my way into a situation that was altogether unpleasant.
I think this happens so often in our lives. We pound our way onto the stage of the world, either confused or bullheadedly hoping we find our way to the big time. We might pray and pray and pray, but we’re so congested we cannot receive the answers. Or we don’t recognise them because they’re not wrapped as expected or in pretty packages.
Even if we do notice and listen to the inner wisdom, we get confused, unable to discern the messages coming through. If we stop to reflect or read, more often it is with some fixed outcome or goal in mind. Something we want to get or have or avoid with almost little regard for all other things. We are far too willing to hand our lives over to an external image of God or Jesus or to our parents, our partners, our psychotherapist, our boss, our friends or Facebook or Google or some expert in this or that or to some shiny marketing campaign to direct us. Our attention is outwardly focussed and our fixation on accomplishment and acquisition result in losing sight of the most important thing. Our relationship. Our internal relationship.
The internal relationship is the only relationship that can truly give you what you most want and get you where you most want to go.
We come fully loaded with all the treasures we need for the adventure that is our life. If only we look within and devote ourselves to the connection that is established to serve us.
Jesus is definitely the way, the truth and the life, BUT SO ARE YOU.
In seeing the divinity in Jesus you can see the divinity in you.
The Way: You have a way through this life and toward God that is unique and organic and beautifully crafted just for you. Everyone can go through the same challenges and hardships, yet no two people will deal with them or come out the same — You have your own path to your highest potential and being.
The Truth: You exist, and the reason you exist is because of the God seed within. That makes you the truth. Whether you believe yourself or not is irrelevant because there you are. It cannot be denied. You are the truth, an expression of God. Not your words, your egoic mind or your body, but the deepest part of you yet to be uncovered. That is the true self and your attainment. The truth within will set you free.
The Life: You are living, breathing, experiencing, creating, being you. You are a spiritual being and you are created and manifested within the living God. That part of you cannot be destroyed. That makes you “life”.
YOU are the way, the truth and the life, follow yourself.
That is where your grandest endeavours reside. It doesn’t mean you can’t listen and learn from others. It doesn’t mean you turn arrogant or superior. It means that YOU are the one of your dreams, the one you’ve been looking for and the one you want to fully become. No one and nothing else. Following others of high or higher spiritual standing than yourself is certainly very beneficial, though, in the end, it is the one within who is of the greatest service to you.
Thanks for reading, I truly hope you got something out of it.
Go to A Love Bug for more articles on love, life and the incredibleness of you.
